


Hide and Seek, Give and Take

by orphan_account



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Awkward Flirting, Canon Universe, Crack, Flirting, Hide and Seek, Horny people have no rights, Humor, M/M, Mind Games, Promises, Public Display of Affection, Second-Hand Embarrassment, Sexual Humor, Sexual Tension, Teasing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-12
Updated: 2020-10-12
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:27:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26963674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: The many times Hisoka finds Illumi, and the one time Illumi manages to do it first.
Relationships: Hisoka/Illumi Zoldyck
Comments: 9
Kudos: 92





	Hide and Seek, Give and Take

**Author's Note:**

  * For [WordsByMarcy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WordsByMarcy/gifts).



> This is the final fic in a series, make sure to read the other two first for context! (you won't regret it)

“Let’s play a game of hide and seek, two months, ‘kay? Winner gets to make the loser do whatever they want <3 (and I know what  _ you _ want, ;))) If I find you, we’re getting married the day after. We  _ are _ engaged, afterall. Save the date, Illumi, can’t wait to find you-  ⭐-_-💧 ”

Illumi had no reason to carry the note with him. He knew what it said right down to the little star and teardrop. But after being devoid of a certain magician for over a month, he began to wonder if Hisoka was even  _ playing _ his little game in the first place. Was Hisoka actually hiding, or was he just going about his normal life?

Or, normal in regards to Hisoka. What  _ did _ Hisoka even do during his normal days? Come to think of it, the only times he’d ever run into Hisoka unexpectedly, he seemed to be loitering around areas where strong nen users tended to frequent, similar to teenagers loitering outside a gas station to pressure insecure adults into buying them beer.

Did this mean that his normal life wasn’t inclusive of him? Wait; that meant that Hisoka used to go out of his way to interact with him. Pathetic. But oddly charming. 

Of course, none of those questions actually crossed Illumi’s mind for more than a few seconds; he was too focused on coming up with his own guide to find Hisoka. His first plan of action was to go to Heaven’s Arena and check the matches, but that was shut down quickly once he remembered that Hisoka had the unique ability to sniff him out through his pheromones, as per what happened the last time he went to Heaven’s Arena. He upped his shower schedule to thrice a week just to make sure he wouldn’t be giving Hisoka an unfair advantage. 

Time began to tick and tick faster, though that was impossible from a temporal sense. It seemed irrational to Illumi, what was this feeling that had plagued him since their parting? Of course he wanted to find him and end the game. It was a competition, and he would not be shown up by a man who wears clip on earrings. 

He thought he was being careful and taking the necessary precautions but somehow Hisoka managed to slink right between the cracks. It happened when Illumi was on a job, scoping out his target from the roof of a building, when he saw a playing card through his binoculars floating in the wind. A chill ran down his back, and he dared not turn around immediately. 

“Wow, what a surprise,” deadpanned Illumi, not even checking if Hisoka was truly behind him. “Have you come back for your thong?”

“How does it fit?” said Hisoka, annunciating the t. Illumi snapped around, feeling his fight or flight once again activated, though he couldn’t entirely tell which one he was ready to do. Maybe both. Kill Hisoka, then flee from the scene. A sensible plan.

“I threw it in the trash.”

Illumi crossed his arms and awaited his response. Hisoka gasped, but Illumi couldn’t tell if he was genuinely shocked or not. He could make a convincing argument either way and didn’t feel like wasting his two remaining brain cells to make that distinction. 

“Oh how could you! Here I was, leaving you a little souvenir from our encounter, and-”

“You escaped out my window butt naked in the middle of the night,” Illumi snapped, jutting out his bottom lip a bit into a pout before regaining his composure. Hisoka sealed his lips shut and rolled his eyes. This was probably a typical Tuesday for him. “I’m not really sure that your  _ used _ underwear was something I’d want to keep as a remembrance of that.”

“I mean, you do give me closet pervert vibes,” said Hisoka, wrapping his hand around the smallest part of Illumi’s waist, raking it slightly with his nails. His other hand snapped right in front of Illumi’s unblinking eyes. “See? Not even a bat of an eye. That look of yours never betrays what you’re thinking…. To an amateur, of course.”

“Are you insinuating that you’re an expert on judging my facial expressions and body language?” said Illumi, cocking his head to the side so some of his hair fell a bit into his face. “Seems like you spend a lot of time staring at my body.”

“Always check the eggs before you buy them,” mused Hisoka as he tucked a strand of Illumi’s hair behind his ear. Illumi untucked the strand of hair and glared at Hisoka.

“I can’t figure out what kind of euphemism it is and I never want to think about it again, so I’ll skip right to the point: you found me. A deal is a deal,” sighed Illumi. Hisoka’s mouth twisted into a cruel smile. He leaned in closer. 

“This game is rather fun isn’t it? The thrill of being sought, the thrill of seeking, it makes me feel tingly all over, wouldn’t you say?” Hisoka said, his syrupy voice sticking to the inside of Illumi’s ear.

“I had no idea where you were for a month. So for the majority of the game, I will admit that I was bored,” said Illumi. Hisoka raised an eyebrow to him.

“I have a proposition for you-”

“Are we getting married?” interjected Illumi. Hisoka looked at him blankly for a second before tsking his tongue. 

“Oh? I should have known you were so hungry for me. I can see you salivating from there, don’t think I never noticed. You want to lock me down so I can be all yours, but a game is a game, Illumi, and if you want a piece of this cake you have to actually earn it. I’m not giving out participation trophies here,” said Hisoka, rocking his hips back and forth. Illumi found himself entranced, as if he were staring at a sexy metronome, with the rhythm with which Hisoka was gyrating. He blinked and looked up. He needn’t get distracted from his goal. 

“What? I proposed so that we wouldn’t be having premarital sex,” said Illumi. The corner of Hisoka’s lip turned up. Was he amused by this?

“So you don’t actually want to get married then,” he said, resting his hand under his own chin. He looked over off to the side. “You just wanted me for my body.”

“You said you were going to propose to me,” said Illumi in a demanding voice, ignoring Hisoka’s accusation. 

“I never took you as the type to fantasize, but me? Proposing?” said Hisoka, putting his hand on his chest as if he were totally offended. Illumi knew better, though. Hisoka tended to tighten his pecs when he was actually offended. 

“Don’t play dumb with me, you wrote it on your message,” snapped Illumi. He was playing right into Hisoka’s positively moisturized hands. By pretending not to know what he was talking about, Hisoka made Illumi seem more and more  _ desperate _ . Illumi had two options, quit now and give Hisoka the win for all the shame he brought upon himself, or bulldoze through and keep pressuring until Hisoka cracked. 

“What message?”

“This message,” said Illumi, pulling out the message to show Hisoka. The second he did, he wished he hadn’t. The words Illumi had seen every night before bed and every morning when he woke up were  _ distinctly _ different now that he took a better look at him. Hisoka made such a show of mentioning the properties of rubber and gum when talking about bungee gum that he always overlooked Hisoka’s  _ other _ abilities, notably Texture Surprise. Part of him assumed that the slight nen aura coming off the paper was a little reminder Hisoka left him, but now that he saw the paper he realized that it was something a lot more diabolical. Fuck, Hisoka had played him like a cheap kazoo. 

“Join the Phantom Troupe~ ♠”

Illumi looked down at the words. What? Why?

“It didn’t always say this, it said if you found me, we were getting married the next day,” said Illumi in a way reminiscent of a spoiled child. Hisoka’s eyes expressed nothing but amusement.

“I mean, if you carried this note around with you for  _ this _ long  _ and _ had it memorized, then-”

“Cut the bullshit, Hisoka. I want a rematch,” said Illumi. Hisoka raised an eyebrow at him.

“Oh~?”

“We get rid of the time limit, too, to make things more interesting. The winner can decide if the game continues or ends if they want to,” said Illumi. 

“I have an idea, how about we make it obvious who wins,” said Hisoka, pulling out two playing cards. “You take one, I’ll take one. Whoever steals the other one’s card is obviously the seeker.”

“Fine,” said Illumi, snatching the queen of spades from Hisoka’s hand. He folded it in half and pocketed it in his pants. “Why do you want me to join the Phantom Troupe, anyways?”

“I think you’d look sexy with the phantom troupe tattoo,” said Hisoka, putting his hand on Illumi’s pelvis right above his dick, which certainly got a reaction out of him. “Right about here.” Hisoka looked down at his handiwork. “Oh? Hello there, little guy. Seems like you think so too.”

Illumi flattened his lips into a line and cursed his sex drive for being attuned to everything and anything clown. 

“Do you enjoy this? The merciless teasing?” asked Illumi. 

“Why ask questions you already know the answer to,” said Hisoka before taking his leave. Illumi found his hand drifting to the card in his pocket but he stopped right before pulling it out. This wasn’t just a physical game to seek each other out, it was also a mental game. But just how was Hisoka going about this? The way the magician’s mind worked was very different from his own. It lacked a certain amount of logic and sense. But perhaps this very chaos was what intrigued Illumi in the first place. He could toy around with the game for a bit, why not. 

The next time they ran into each other was only a week later, much to Illumi’s surprise. Not the fact that it had only taken a week for them to meet again, but the fact that Illumi had almost slit his throat for  _ actually _ running into him. Here he was, with Hisoka pressed up against the wall, two pins in his left hand pointing underneath his jaw. 

“What we see here is you failing to sneak up on me to steal my card,” said Illumi, eyes drifting to the bob in Hisoka’s throat as he swallowed. He could tell from here that Hisoka’s heart rate had increased significantly, but he couldn’t tell if it was from fear or excitement. Possibly both, since before Illumi recognized him, he was actually going to stick the pins through his throat. 

It wasn’t every day that someone bumped into him in a crowded place, most people knew to keep their distance from him, nen proficiency or not. It might have had to do with those “pheromones” that Hisoka kept bringing up time and time again, though he doubted it. So it was a shock to him when some  _ pickpocket _ had the audacity to get close enough to him to try the “bump and run” trick. Amateur. 

“Oh, I suppose you’ve  _ caught me _ haven’t you,” said Hisoka, slyly licking his lips. Illumi blinked. Once. 

“Do me a favor and let me know where your card is hidden, I’d rather not put my hands in places the sun’s never seen.”

“Believe me, Illumi, the sun has seen every piece of me,” murmured Hisoka as he leaned in closer. “And I believe you have too.” Illumi looked down to Hisoka’s crotch pocket. The card was in there, wasn’t it? He sighed. Better get this over with. He unzipped Hisoka’s pocket and slowly reached his hand in, feeling around for anything vaguely card shaped. Illumi winced as his hand brushed on something that most certainly wasn’t card shaped. Hisoka winked. Illumi did  _ not _ return that one. 

Eventually he pulled out the card from Hisoka’s seemingly interdimensional crotch pocket. Seriously, how did the physics behind this one even work? 

“I can’t imagine storing your hunter license in your crotch pocket is good practice,” said Illumi, flipping the card over in disappointment after realizing that it wasn’t the playing card he was supposed to have fished out. He clicked his tongue. He would have to go in for another plunge, wouldn’t he.

“That’s where you’re wrong,” said Hisoka. 

“Pardon? I think it’s an inconvenient way to store it,” said Illumi, Hisoka glanced down at the card. 

“Look closer.”

Illumi flipped the card over, once and twice again, before going stark white. This wasn’t Hisoka’s hunter license. 

“How did you get this,” said Illumi, pocketing it before realizing that despite no longer pinning Hisoka to the wall, he had still been pressed up there out of his own sheer desire to. 

“Would you like a demonstration?” asked Hisoka. Illumi pursed his lips. A demonstration for purely scientific purposes couldn’t hurt. He nodded. 

Hisoka brought one of his sharp nailed fingers up to Illumi’s chest, as the other one grazed against his hip. 

“I hardly noticed your flinch this time,” said Hisoka, sliding his left hand around Illumi’s waist to pull him closer. This was  _ definitely _ not part of the demonstration, Hisoka was most certainly just having his fun with him. He didn’t  _ hate _ it though, but he couldn’t bring himself to say he liked it. Or let Hisoka know he did. 

“You’ve become more predictable now,” said Illumi. Hisoka gave him a knowing glance before pulling both of his hands back and crossing his arms. 

“So that’s what we’re calling it now,” he said, giving a little head flick to Illumi. “Okay, I’ve successfully stolen your card.”

“I didn’t see you take anything out of my pockets,” said Illumi. “I was watching the whole time, I would have noticed it.”

“Right, because I didn’t take anything out of your pockets this time.”

“Excuse me?”

“Check your pockets,” said Hisoka. Illumi shook his head and stuck his hand into his pants pocket, and not to his surprise, there was a card still in there. 

“Oh, this is just a ploy to get me to take the card out of my pocket so that you can steal it right now,” said Illumi. “I see through your plan.” Hisoka rolled his eyes. 

“Just take the card out.”

“Okay.”

Illumi pulled the card out of his pocket, the Queen of Hearts. He looked at it, and then looked up at Hisoka. 

“You’re a really bad magician,” said Illumi, perplexed at the card he was holding. 

“You’re a really bad observer,” mused Hisoka. “I took your hunter license by accident the first time we bumped into each other, and then while you were taking that, I took your card. I left you a little surprise just now, though.” Illumi traced his hand along the smooth card, only now realizing in object horror that he had yet again folded a playing card that Hisoka had given him, and this card was distinctly  _ not _ folded. He flipped it over. 

“I’d like to contract you to kill me~♥” Illumi read out loud. “You do realize this means you will die.”

“Why? Do you care?” asked Hisoka. Illumi bit his bottom lip inside his mouth. “You think you can actually kill me?”

“Do  _ you _ think I can?”

“Want to find out?”

Illumi looked over at the clown before him. He’d technically given him the consent to kill him on the spot. Illumi had pulled him into a blind spot area of the security cameras in the area. He could do it, right here, right now. 

“Contracts take a few months to be processed, I have other clients on my list that I need to complete first, it wouldn’t be fair to them if I skipped ahead to grant a request like this. It’s bad business practice,” said Illumi quickly, flipping his hair over his shoulder. He looked down at the card that Hisoka had given him. He slipped it into his pocket. “I suppose you could push up the deadline, but that would take another request, wouldn’t it?”

“Isn’t there anything  _ else _ I can push in order to get my order sooner?” said Hisoka, hand resting on his own thigh as he brought it up higher slowly. Was he seriously trying to use sex appeal to get Illumi to kill him faster? Yes. Was it working? Almost. 

“I’ll have to let you go through my secretary first,” said Illumi. Hisoka just about deflated. And with that, he left the clown of a man, feeling strangely confident about himself. 

Now that he had enough free time on his hand, Illumi worked on going through with Hisoka’s requests. Joining the Phantom Troupe wasn’t a complete waste of time, it did allow him to gain access to new sources of information as well as keep an eye on Kalluto. But if there was one part of joining that Illumi absolutely  _ resented, _ it was the boat. 

Not only was he stuck on this glorified ferry away from the mainland where he could be doing jobs, but it was a consistent place that he would be stuck in with all the people that showed up in the first place. So unless Hisoka had somehow found out about the trip, he would be here, away from the game. Maybe it was for the best. Statistically speaking, the time he spent interacting with Hisoka on a daily basis had gone down, but the time he spent thinking about how to win their little game had gone up, so if he could clear his mind for a month or two, it would probably be a well needed break. 

Illumi brushed his fingers against his lower abdomen, a layer of clothes separating the tips from the newly healed spider tattoo he had under there. Hisoka has suggested it, of course. The only reason he had gotten it done, and there, in the first place, was because it was part of Hisoka’s request for winning that round. Illumi repeated that comment in his head to reassure himself of that. Right. He was just fulfilling his end of the deal. 

Yet again it was another constant reminder of the game he was playing with Hisoka. Even if he tried to clear his mind from it, he kept finding little ways to remind himself of his goal. Maybe he was on the ship, maybe he wasn’t. But he wouldn’t be able to find it out unless he looked for him. 

He dealt with it systematically, by keeping tabs on the regular unassuming guests and taking their appearances whenever they were in irrelevant locations so he could scout out on different decks to see any sign of his fiancé. After almost a week of scouting, Illumi decided to go out onto the top deck to get some fresh air. A light breeze blew through his hair, cooling him down a bit from the overheated interior of the boat, but he was almost too distracted by the sight before him to notice. 

Hisoka was sitting on the railing, legs dangling over the edge. He looked completely unbothered. Illumi quickly hid his presence, and observed him from afar. This could be his chance. 

“You do realize the longer we play these games, the longer you’re keeping me from other jobs, thus postponing your eventual death,” said Illumi, tapping Hisoka on the shoulder with one of his pins. Hisoka bit his lip and glanced over to the side as if Illumi were being completely unreasonable. “I’m not going to even bother looking for your card, it’s probably just another ploy for me to touch you down  _ there _ . Let’s just call this my win.”

“I mean if you ever do want to check, you know where the zipper is,” mused Hisoka. Illumi’s eye twitched. Hisoka’s comment was crude as usual, but there was something about him that just seemed  _ different _ .  _ Off.  _ The two of them were silent until Hisoka spoke up. 

“It’s not the act of dying I crave,” said Hisoka, folding his hands. Illumi watched as he looked out over the lake waters. “Why look forward to something where you already know the outcome? It’s a game of chances and near misses.”

“It’s easier to plan things if you’re sure of their outcomes,” said Illumi, scrunching his nose a little bit. “Being sure of things removes any stress from the situation.”

“It’s the thrill that uncertainty brings,” said Hisoka, getting off the railing so he could lean in closer to Illumi. His bungee gum scented breath tickled the back of Illumi’s neck where the hair met his head, causing a slight tingle. He held his face as stone still as possible. This was another one of Hisoka’s little games, and he couldn’t let himself crack. 

“If it’s uncertainty you crave, then why did you hire me to kill you in the first place? I never fail a job. You know this,” said Illumi sharply, hitting Hisoka with each of the words like little daggers. Suddenly, it hit him. “I’ve got it. You kept me around because you thought that it was a better incentive than my libido, which could theoretically be suppressed. You like having me around.”

“Assuming your theory is true, and your libido  _ could _ be suppressed, why haven’t you done it yet?” asked Hisoka, running a hand through his hair. “You’re ignoring the facts and logic.” 

“But you didn’t  _ deny _ wanting to keep me around,” said Illumi putting a smile on his face. Hisoka opened his mouth to speak, then closed it for a second. It was slight, but Illumi caught it nonetheless. 

“You’re using a steel man argument to get me to agree with something so I can meet your demands,” said Hisoka, looking down at Illumi’s crotch. “That I assume have something to do with  _ your _ steel man.”

“Never call it that again,” said Illumi, putting a hand over his crotch to prevent Hisoka from judging the outline through his clothes. “And if we even  _ consider _ that a steel man argument, it’s pretty weak.”

“Weak you say…” said Hisoka, giving an immature giggle. Illumi rolled his eyes. 

“Anyways, I won this round, so I get to pick my prize.”

“I’m standing right here-”

Illumi glared at him. Why did he have to be so  _ irritating _ but also absolutely delectable just  _ standing  _ there like that? He needed time to clear his head. He could ask Hisoka to sleep with him, but that felt too easy of a prize after all that had happened. Joining the Phantom Troupe and getting contracted to kill Hisoka were two huge decisions, he couldn’t just settle for something small and mundane. No, he had to outsmart Hisoka. There had to be some sort of loophole he could exploit. He had more than two thoughts happening in his head right now and they were overwhelming everything. 

“I’m going to go back to my room and sleep this one out. I’ll come up with my answer in the morning,” said Illumi. He got up and walked a few steps towards the entrance back to the lower decks. A third thought popped into Illumi’s mind. He may as well shoot his shot. 

“And if you’re interested, here’s my room key,” said Illumi, tossing the key to Hisoka. He looked at it for a second, twirling it around one of his fingers before holding it over the edge of the railing and dropping it off the edge. Illumi froze in his tracks. 

“You do realize that was the only key to my room!”

“Why would you give me the  _ only _ key to your room?” asked Hisoka. The two of them looked out over the edge.

“Why would you  _ throw  _ my key off the edge.”

“Fair point,” said Hisoka, crossing his arms as he watched the waves crash beneath them on the side of the boat. “I guess that means you’ll have nowhere to sleep, how unfortunate.”

“I can pick the lock using my needles-”

“ _ Fortunately _ I’m feeling very  _ generous _ today,” started Hisoka, turning his head to face Illumi as he cut him off. “Want to come find where I’ve hidden the card?”

“Why are you using similar inflection to a character in a bad porno?” asked Illumi. Hisoka smiled as he wrapped his hand around Illumi’s wrist. 

“You accidentally air dropped me your playlist once, don’t worry, I only skimmed through it,” said Hisoka with a wink. “And by skim, I mean-” Illumi made the mistake at glancing down at where Hisoka’s other hand was in his lap pantomiming a certain  _ obscene _ action.

“You clobbered your clown,” deadpanned Illumi. Hisoka looked as if he were stifling laughter. “Anyways, why offer for me to come  _ visit _ with you in your room when I did the same thing a few minutes ago? Was my room not good enough.”

“I wanted to make it up to you for being so indecisive lately,” said Hisoka, resting a hand on Illumi’s waist. It was tempting. It really was. “And know that I can make something else  _ up _ for y-”

“I think I have a solution for you,” said Illumi, pressing Hisoka closer and closer against the rail until he was partially bent backwards around it. He leaned in closer so he could whisper something into his ear. “Maybe I’ll come. Maybe I won’t.” He knew the answer, though. This was dependent on him. But he gave Hisoka what he wanted, the uncertainty part of it, perhaps this would be enough to finally woo him over. 

“Don’t worry, you’ll certainly  _ come _ ,” said Hisoka, brushing his hand over where Illumi had gotten his spider tattoo. 

“Will I?” asked Illumi, walking away dramatically as he pushed his shoulders back and made his way through the decks until he finally got to his room. He reached into his pocket to pull out his key. Huh, that was odd…

He pulled a few pins out of his shirt and stuck them into the lock, before getting frustrated and snapping one of them inside. He applied gyo with his eyes, just now realizing that the locks on the doors were nen protected by someone in order to prevent lockpicking. Illumi looked at his own reflection in the peephole of his door as he realized that he was actually locked out of his room because of Hisoka. It suddenly dawned on him that he wouldn’t be stuck rooming with Hisoka for a day. Unless he asked the staff to unlock his room for him, he’d be stuck for the  _ entire _ rest of the trip. Maybe Hisoka would end up getting his wish afterall. He took a deep breath in, then out. In the place of “happy thoughts” was tv static. This game was never going to end. And Illumi was going to make sure of it. That’s how a give and take relationship works, after all. 

**Author's Note:**

> Speacial thanks to Aikasa_chan for beta reading for me!!!
> 
> Please leave me a comment if you liked it!


End file.
